How I Know I'm Getting Old

Excuse the title of this blog post, as I am well aware that at the age of 25 I am not considered remotely 'old'... However, there are plenty of reasons that I have to believe that I behave in ways possibly considered not normal for my age group, I mean it's not like I've started cracking out the Werther's Originals just yet, but these reasons of course I am happy to share with you.

I'm thrilled by new tea towels
I'm not joking. This week I spent a whole £10 on brand new tea towels and I literally cannot begin to describe how happy these pieces of cloth have made me. They're just so soft!

A cup of tea is the ultimate 'oh yes'
You know that sexually gratified sigh you sometimes make when something is *really* good. Yeah, that sound for me is reserved for a simple cup of tea. (Yorkshire Tea, mind - don't try give me any of this other crap...) Leave the teabag in for long enough for it to brew properly then add in the smallest splash of milk and you've got me exactly where you want me. Oh baby.

I listen to music now and I'm like WTF
Don't get me wrong, my go-to radio station in the car is Radio 1, and that ultimately deems me still a cool human being, but I'm not gonna lie - sometimes they'll play a song and I'm like "Seriously?! This is MUSIC?!" ...I mean don't get me wrong I'm all down for rapping along with Eminem and Macklemore like an absolute boss but I don't have a clue what's going on when it's this grime rap stuff. Somebody stick me some Radio 2 on and I'll understand again?

The most exciting part of a night out is the before and the after
Seriously. There's the 'before' part of the night that involves the getting ready - the outfit planning and the make-up putting on bit; y'know the contouring and highlighting and decided what shape your brows will be that night bit. Then there's about 5-8 shitty hours in between where you're stood waiting at bars for hours on end holding a crisp £20 note in your hand, whilst getting your arse groped by strangers... Then there's the 'after' part of the night when you're stood in your local takeaway getting a kebab and cheesy chips just thinking about how good it's going to be when you kick them heels off, and how comfy your bed is gonna be when you get in.

Seriously. The 'before' and 'after' parts of a night out are the effing BEST. I don't care who you are.

I hate clubs
This kind of links into the above, but clubs are just absolutely crap - unless it's like a 'Reflex' style club or like the bottom floor of Rosie's in Chester (niche, I know) - but basically, unless they're playing the ultimate tunes of the 80's/90's then I am not interested. I'd 100% rather be in a bar or a pub, sat having a natter than in sweaty club, attempting to shout over the absolutely shite music and paying three times what I'd like to pay for a mojito, thanks.

Shopping. Get in. Get Out. Get done.
I can't even begin to tell you how much I used to love shopping, FOR HOURS. I'd literally need to buy nothing and yet I'd manage to spend six hours in the White Rose Shopping Centre just browsing. Ain't NOBODY got time for that these days. These days it's like a snatch and grab. Get in, get out, make sure you've got everything you need, check for survivors, etc.

New bedding is THE BEST
Don't tell me you don't appreciate the simple gratification that comes with freshly laundered duvet covers. Sliding yourself into bed when the covers are clean (and you have shaven legs, ideally) is the BEST FEELING IN THE ENTIRE WORLD EVER.

I no longer understand Internet trends
Remember when it was just #YOLO and #JustSayin', a bit of LOL and ROFL? Hahahahah the golden era of Internet slang and acronyms. Now it's all ygm, af, bae and the frog/coffee emoji combo. I am so unashamed to admit that I've had to Urban Dictionary at least three times about what certain slang terms mean... And at least once I've still been completely clueless afterwards. Like, is this it? Do I have to start buying slip-on shoes now?

Speaking of slip-on shoes...

I recently bought a pair of Skechers
For comfort purposes only. When I went to Edinburgh for the Fringe Festival, I knew I'd be doing a hell of a lot of walking and I didn't want to be crying about my feet hurting. I legit bought some slip-on Skechers and I WAS SO COMFY FOR THE WHOLE WEEK. I have no regrets. It's not like I've got the stage of buying Crocs yet or anything #sorrynotsorry.

Facebook is the DEVIL
I confess, I'm still ridiculously into Facebook and I post probably way more than I should for a 25 year old human being - however, Facebook is also a constant reminder that you're way 'behind' other people who were in your year at school/same graduating year at university because they've already got two kids and another one on the way... Or they just got engaged after spending a whole summer travelling Europe! Yaaaaaay....

And by 'yaaaaay', I mean 'urghhh' - just do one will you?

Getting ID-ed is the best feeling in the world
I'm pretty sure when I was 17 and I got ID-ed, it was the end of the world. It meant whichever club I was attempting to get into was completely impossible for the rest of the night and undoubtedly ruined my entire evening. However, now with 'Challenge 25' or whatever it's called in full force, it means that sometimes I'm still lucky enough to look younger than my age - and I get asked for ID and it's BLISSFUL to pass over that driving licence with a smug expression on my face like 'yes, serve me this alcohol woman...'

I own a pair of slippers
Not only do I own a pair (okay... Three pairs) of slippers... I also take them places with me - like when I go around to my friends house for tea/drinks - yeah I take my slippers with me. I'll also take my pyjama bottoms with me - because you're having a laugh if you think I'm spending the entire night in my jeans... As soon as I say hiya and grace their threshold, my pyjama bottoms are being unravelled and I am getting myself comfy. I don't care what you say.

And last but not least...

I don't have time for your shit any more
D'ya know when I was younger, and if I fancied you - I'd put up with all sorts of crap just to get to see you/talk to you again... Nowadays I don't hang about. If you wanted to see me, you'd make an effort to see me/talk to me... Otherwise, nah you're alright bro. I haven't got time for your crap any more - I'm an adult now, I've got loads of stuff going on in my life. Make an effort will you?

So anyway... That's why I know I'm getting old now. There's probably one million other reasons that I could come up with - except I've had a bottle of Prosecco and quite a few beers tonight so I can't quite think them up...

Let me know if you can think of any others though. I like knowing other people feel old as well as me, it makes me feel better.